


Why Is This So Familiar?

by WrongEraDreamer



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-05-30 21:28:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15105221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrongEraDreamer/pseuds/WrongEraDreamer
Summary: It didn’t start in 2009, or well… it did for the current Dan and Phil. However, for the previous ones it started long before, sometimes they got to be together and sometimes they didn’t.Dan and Phil meeting and falling in love in different time eras. Some happy endings and some not so much.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For many reasons, the dialogue will clearly not be very similar to the way people spoke in those eras. I apologize for any mistakes but I do hope you enjoy the story if you happen to read it.
> 
> If you do like it then please let me know, I crave validation hahahaha.
> 
> I just felt like I NEEDED to write this since I have always liked this idea.

London, England. August 24, 1143

 

  
“This is it Philip, I shall die here!” Exclaimed Edmund under a great number of red, blue and green cloths. His muffled voice could barely be heard but Phil managed to understand what he said since he was paying attention due to the loud sound of falling objects that came before. It appears that while Phil was busy preparing the last detail of their stand Edmund managed to know down not one but 3 piles.  


“Would you be kind enough to remind me why my father thought it was a good idea to assign you to work with me? I would like to have a word with him about it.” Said Phil while bending down to start picking up and re folding all the cloths. “If any of them got dirty you have to wash them, I refuse to charge less for a dirty one and you know that people here like to snatch every opportunity they can to pay less.”  
  
Edmund managed to resurface from the pile of cloths and looked quite offended. “Oh yes Philip, I am well. It is a miracle that my life was not lost to such an amount of fabric falling on me. My heart is moved by how concerned you are about my wellbeing!”  
  
Instead of saying what he truly wanted to say Phil just looked at him and sighted. “I apologize, the stress of the fair is never good for me and it is too early in the morning for me to be completely awake.”  
  
Edmund decided to feign still being offended while he cleaned the cloths that got dirty and Phil folded and organized the other ones again. This was the tenth Bartholomew Fair and Phil’s sixth. For the tenth anniversary many people said that it would be even better than the previous ones. The first two were exciting at first, it was all so colourful and full of life. However, after the fourth year it all started to become annoying and repetitive. People came, people went, most of them admired the fabrics but never bought any of them and the ones that did usually tried to force him into selling them at lower prices, especially the rich ones. Nevertheless, he couldn’t deny that this fair was the most exciting part of every year for him. Is this all he could look forward to? The only joy in his life would only be a cloth fair? He knew that a great amount of people loved the fair not because of the textiles but because of the opportunity to meet new people and engage in… scandalous activities that are somehow overlooked during it. However, he could not find it within him to join them in such activities, they were not for him. In the end, he always remained on his stand and tried to sell as much as he could. Phil couldn’t help but feel that his life was passing by and he was just watching it without doing much. He was 22 and had barely accomplished anything in his life.  
  
Edmund on the other hand always took every opportunity to leave the stand and enjoy the fair. He always managed to seduce every lady he wanted and he also managed to anger a great number of husbands and fathers. He tried to convince Phil to join him but he refused him all the time claiming that someone had to stay and keep an eye on things. It was true in a way, but he knew it wasn't completely true.  
  
When people started to arrive Phil pushed away his pessimism and tried to be as charming as possible in order to attract customers. People seemed to genuinely like him, even if most of them never bought anything they paid attention to him and even talked with him for a while. After about 4 hours Edmund announced that he was going to rest for a bit and Phil couldn't deny that he saw that coming since the moment a young lady with long braids and a rather tight bliaut came to ask about prices while giving Edmund a few shy smiles. He was two years younger than Phil but he seemed to have lived even more than Phil ever would. After the usual invitation and refusal Edmund left and Phil was alone.  
  
After 30 minutes Phil decided to take a little rest as well. By this point of the day most people were entertained by the other things in the fair and not many were buying. They would usually come back in a few hours. He decided to sit on the floor and listen to the music and chatter that could be faintly heard from there. A part of him wanted to join them, but for some reason he dared not.

He managed to relax for some time until his peace was broken by the sound of falling cloths yet again. He sighted loudly and turned around. “Edmund, one of this days I will smother you with those very same cloths and you will be-“  
  
He stopped mid-sentence when he realised that Edmund was not responsible for the little disaster. Emerging from the red and blue mess was a young man that Phil had never met in his life and he looked very perplexed as well.  
  
“I apologize! I was running from someone and then I tried to hide here and before I knew it I was drowning in fabric!” He seemed a bit out of breath and his brown eyes looked as if he had been crying. The man was almost as tall as him, he had brown curly hair that looked a bit dirty and his skin was a bit tanned, which most probably meant he worked in the fields. He also looked rather thin and his hands had some scratches on them, further confirming his theory.  
  
“That… emm… It is no problem… sir. It was an accident.” Said Phil without moving. He had no idea how to deal with this strange situation. He did not even know if the young man was telling the truth or if he had been trying to steal something from him, it wouldn't be the first time. “Are you hurt?”  
  
“I… uh… I am not.” He was blushing and shaking. “Let me help you clean this up, it was my fault after all.”  
  
That made Phil finally move and walk towards the young man. “Oh, that is not necessary! You had no intention of knocking down the piles.”  
  
“Please, sir! I insist.” He looked so guilty that Phil could not find it in him to reject his offer.  
  
“Very well, you do the blue ones and I the red ones.” He said while kneeling on the floor. “When you are done feel free to leave, you are not in debt or anything.”  
  
The young man looked a bit surprised but he just nodded and then instantly started to arrange the blue ones. Phil could not help but feel a bit bad for him. “May I ask why you were trying to hide here?”  
  
The man did not answer for a long while and Phil was about to apologize for his intrusion when suddenly he started speaking. “I… I stole something.”  
  
Phil was surprised by his own calmness after such an answer. “And what is it that you stole?” He started to feel a bit nervous about having a thief here but part of him felt pity for the man as well. Phil could not say that he had never stolen something either.  
  
“A simple tunic for one of my brothers.” He answered in a soft voice. “The one he has is full of holes and stains.”  
  
Phil felt his heart tighten a little. Life was not easy in this world if you had little money or no important connections. “I thank you for your honesty.”  
  
They remained in silence while ordering the fabrics for a few seconds and then the man spoke again. “You are not going to hand me over for theft?”  
  
Phil knew extremely well what happened to thieves that got caught at the fair and he could not bear to see this poor young man suffer, he looked pained enough already. “If I did that, it would make me a hypocrite. I am not completely innocent and cannot claim to have never stolen anything out of necessity in my life.”  
  
The man seemed to stop moving for a second and the tension in his shoulders softened a little. “You… you are very kind to me, I am very grateful.”  
  
Phil smiled a little and finished his pile. When he stood up and turned around the young man had already finished as well. “I would advise you to be careful, the merchants here are very resentful and if the one you stole from is still here he will recognise you and try to catch you.”  
  
The man seemed to tense up again and Phil felt terrible for him. “What should I do then?”  
  
Phil felt like there was only one solution. “You can stay here and hide until the end of the fair.” The man seemed like he was about to protest so Phil rushed before he could say anything. “And if it makes you feel better you can help me back here by passing me what I require and organizing things.”  
  
The man considered for a moment while biting his lower lip. After fidgeting for some time he finally sighted. “Fair enough, I shall stay here and help you. I cannot express how grateful I am to you.”  
  
Phil smiled at him. “It is no problem at all, I actually appreciate the help, sir.”  
  
The man smiled back. “My name is Daniel by the way. I feel strange when people call me sir since no one does, so feel free to just call me Daniel or Dan.”  
  
“My name is Philip but most people call me Phil, a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” He said in response. In that moment Phil realised that while it was true that the safest option was for Dan to stay there until the end of the fair, he also wanted him to stay and get to know him. Edmund was good company despite his flaws, but they had never been able to truly be friends and Phil felt really lonely watching everyone enjoy the day.

Not many people came and Phil was not surprised, after mid-day the actual buyers left and mostly the young and the drunk stayed until very late. Meanwhile he talked with Dan or well… Dan talked to him mostly. Phil found out that he is 18 and that he worked the fields just like he suspected, he did it with his 3 brothers and his father. His mother had died during childbirth when his youngest brother was born. His older sister and one of his little brothers had died of an unknown cause two years ago. He lived with his father and his 2 remaining little brothers, the older one got married and after saving for years he finally managed to get a little place of his own that was very close to theirs’s. Phil had asked if he was close to his family and he answered that not really. It turns out that Dan has always been the black sheep in the house, the one that is not very good at working the fields, the one that has less friends, the one that despite his father’s insistence and attempts has not managed to find a pretty girl he would like to marry. He also told Phil that even if he knows it’s practically useless, he tries his best to look decent and clean, which is not easy or cheap for him but he always saves up a bit of his earnings to buy a cheap tunic or some simple fabric. His father hates him a little for that but he refuses to stop doing it.  
  
“My apologies,” Says Dan some time later. “I have no idea why I told you so much about me. I just… I feel like I can talk to you and I have no one else that would truly listen to me.”  
  
Phil could not explain to Dan how much he understood him on that. “Oh no need to be sorry! I happen to feel the same.” He blushed a little after admitting that.  
  
Dan smiled at him and for the first time Phil noticed that he had dimples. “Tell me about you.”  
  
“Oh, well… there is not much to know about me. My father is a merchant and he travels a lot, he is the one that brings these fabrics here. They are not the most exotic but they pay well enough. Sometimes my mother makes clothing from them and we sell those as well. I am in charge of selling, as you can see and my little sisters stays with my mother and is learning how to make clothes as well. You may think that since my father travels a lot my life would be full of interesting things and stories but no, he just comes, give us what he gets and then leaves again, I barely see him. I mostly sell things and take care of my mother and sister.” Phil felt like he was not interesting at all and Dan would get bored of him soon enough.  
  
“What do you do when you are not working or taking care of your family?” Dan asked. “What do you enjoy?” 

Phil hates this question. “I… well… there is not much that I do. I like to walk and play with my sister. I have some friends but they are busy most of the time and we barely see each other. I used to like dancing until a group of ladies laughed at me one night.” Phil laughed a little after that but Dan seemed a bit upset about that.  
  
“That is cruel, if you like dancing then why does it matter if the others like or not the way you do it? They should pay attention to more important matters.” Dan walked a little closer to Phil. “So, I get that you are close to your sister then?”

“Yes, she is my little bird and her laugh brightens my day. She turned 8 years old 5 days ago.” Phil always smiled when he thought about his sister. He would do anything for her, which is why when times were hard and his father could not find much Phil had not hesitated to steal somethings for her. “She begged me to bring her to the fair but she is too young and many of the things that happen here are not appropriate at all for a little girl.”  
  
“I cannot blame her, I love coming here. Even if I cannot afford anything at all it is still wonderful to see all the people and the music and the exotic things that merchants bring. I actually believe that this is my favourite time of the year because it makes me feel… alive.” Dan’s eyes were bright now and he was blushing just a little. Phil liked seeing him like that, it made him feel happy.  
  
“This is my favourite time of the year too, or well… it used to be. I have come here for years in order to sell what my father brings and I feel like it is starting to become so dull for me. Always forcing a smile on my face and pretending to be charming and interesting in order to sell as much as I can. So many people that I wish I could smother with the very fabrics they buy because they believe they can treat me as they please. But no, I have to smile and be happy for them.” Phil got a bit carried away and he instantly felt bad. “I apologize, I know I must sound rather silly. And besides… here I am complaining about being bored when you have it so much harder than me. You must think me shallow and ungrateful.”  
  
Instead of the look of annoyance that Phil expect from Dan, he actually gently placed his hand on Phil’s arm and looked at him with kindness. “Just because you have some privileges that I do not possess, doesn't mean that you cannot feel sadness or frustration with certain things in your life.”  
  
Phil felt a little something in his chest that he could not describe and he and Dan looked at each other for some time in complete silences, neither of them moved or spoke. In just a few hours this stranger had managed to become someone that Phil considered valuable, someone that he wanted to talk to and to be in his company. Phil had some friends, but the more they grew the less they had time for each other and the less Phil connected with them. In this moment Dan felt just as important (if not a bit more) than any of them.  
  
The moment was broken when a drunk Edmund came back while singing a rather explicit song about a lady taking a bath in a lake. Phil had been so entertained with Dan that he forgot completely about Edmund and about telling Dan about Edmund. Dan’s hand was still on his arm, but when Edmund stopped singing he dropped it and Phil almost shivered. Edmund was silently regarding Dan for a few seconds and Phil had no idea what to expect or say.  
  
“Are you a friend of Philip?” Edmund asked slowly. Dan looked scared and nervous, his hands were shaking a bit and he was biting his lip again.  
  
“Emm… yes?” He actually looked at Phil when he said that. As if he felt that he had no right to claim to be Phil’s friend.  
  
Suddenly Edmund hugged Dan with one arm and laughed. “This is a miracle! You were not lying when you said you had friends Philip! I must admit I doubted you, but now I see I was wrong.”  
  
If Phil were not rendered speechless by the sudden appearance of Edmund he would feel offended by what he said.  
  
“My name is… emm… Daniel” Dan looked tense and uncomfortable, Phil felt a bit bad for him.  
  
Snapping out of his initial shock Phil dragged Edmund away from Dan. “Edmund, we have talked about personal boundaries.” He cleared his throat and collected his thoughts. “Dan, this is Edmund. He helps me… or well, he pretends to help me sell and organize everything. Edmund, this is my friend Dan.” He looked at Dan when he said the friend part, wanting him to know that indeed he was his friend now. “He… emm… he happened to be around and was kind enough to help me while you were out doing who knows what.”

Edmund faked being wounded by that comment and then proceeded to claim very excitedly that since Phil had all the help he required from Dan, then he could keep on enjoying the day with some rather charming ladies. Part of Phil felt mad about that but the other part wanted to keep chatting with Dan alone, so he came up with a little idea. “I shall agree to such ridiculous request on the condition that Dan gets to keep half of your earnings from today.”  
  
If Edmund were like Phil, he would have rejected the idea and gone back to work, but Edmund’s family happened to be a bit more economically stable and this was clearly just a job where he could get some experience before he went and did other things that would give him much more money. So, after a few seconds where Edmond looked at Dan and then at the group of young people having fun outside, he agreed to what Phil proposed and then bid them farewell for the day.  


When Phil looked at Dan again he seemed rather shocked and paralysed. “Dan? Is something wrong?”  
  
“You were joking about paying me, right?” Said Dan still completely frozen in place. “I mean, money is always a blessing for me, but after coming here, knocking down part of your fabrics, ranting to you about my life, hiding here from the owner of the tunic I stole and distracting you from your job… I just… I have no right to it.”  
  
“You are not distracting me at all! In fact, your company has made the day much more enjoyable. Edmund is a nice person, but we have never managed to be close and get along completely well. Besides, you have been helping me with some things here and there so it is only fair that if you are doing Edmund’s job, then you deserve some of his pay.” After saying that, Phil started to feel a bit open and shy so he looked away from Dan. Perhaps he could have left out the part about Dan making his day enjoyable, but for some reason he feels like he can be honest with him. Was he being ridiculous? Was he that desperate to have a close friend that he was clinging to Dan like a mad man? Was he really that pitiful and pathetic?

He was brought back from his little crisis when Dan gently grabbed his shoulder and looked at him. “Phil, you have no idea how grateful I am to you today. To be honest, not many people are kind to me since I am nothing more than a poor boy with no skill or talent. I do not know how I will repay your kindness but I promise you that I will.”

He looked so determined and sounded so passionate about it that Phil was left speechless and just smiled at Dan. Perhaps Phil was indeed a bit pitiful, but he was not wrong in believing that Dan is someone he can trust and with who he can get along. He also may not be as economically well as he wants to, but if he can help Dan in any little way then he shall try.  
  
They resumed their work and the hours went by in distant music, a few successful sells and a really enjoyable time with Dan. When it was time for them to leave he and Dan placed everything in the wooden cart and set off to their homes. Dan insisted on accompanying Phil near to his home and help him with the cart, it was already nigh time and robbers could be waiting to strike. Phil had once encountered robbers and it was a scary experience that he wishes to never have again, thankfully the night he got robbed had been the last night of the festival and not many things were stolen. Nevertheless, he has always been a bit paranoid since then and is very grateful of Dan’s company. 

“You said you like to walk and to dance… or well at least you used to. What else do you like?” Dan said in order to fill the silence between them when they set off. “Do you like to get so drunk you forget you name? Do you like praying in silent places? Do you like pretty girls who let you see more hair than they are usually allowed to?”  
  
Dan was smirking when he asked it and Phil pushed him lightly with his shoulder. “Yes, as you have seen I am a corrupted lad that likes to go out and live a life full of sin.” They both laughed at that. “To be honest, I am not an exciting person that dares to do outrageous actions or even loosen up a little. I do have a great love for animals if that interests you, I like going to the woods and interacting with the creatures there. It has led to some minor accidents and injuries, but I still do it every now and then when I have the time.”  
  
“Oh Lord, what accidents have you had? I want the details.” Said Dan looking very interested. It was really unusual for Phil to have the interest and undivided attention of anyone so he felt a bit nervous by it.  
  
“Well… There was this time when I was 9 and came across an extremely adorable squirrel. It looked so small and soft that I had a really strong urge to pet it and since I was so young and naïve I went ahead and tried. At first it kept running away from me but I was so determined that I just chased after it and when it went up a tree I started to climb, I didn’t go very high but to a 9 year old it felt like I was almost touching the sky. When I finally saw it for some reason it stopped running away so I innocently stretched my hand to pet it and then it bit me, I jumped in pain, lost my balance and fell down. Aside from a bruised bottom, some scratches and a bitten finger I was fine but I have since then felt betrayed by squirrels and have never tried to pet any of them again, only feed them.” As soon as Phil stopped talking Dan started laughing.  
  
“Phil! Oh Lord, you were so stupid and adorable.” He kept on laughing and Phil laughed a little as well.  
  
“The moral of the story is that you can watch how cute they are but do NOT pet them.” Phil then remembered that he hadn’t paid Dan yet so he got out his small bag, took some coins from it and handed them to Dan. “Before I forget, here is your payment for your help today.”  
  
Dan slowly took the coins and then looked at Phil. “I… I insist that you shouldn’t pay me after all the trouble I caused today. But, I know that you will not hear me on that so just know that if you ever happen to need my help I am here. For _anything_.”  
  
Phil felt a bit embarrassed and looked away. “You were no trouble at all, I have told you already. I would even dare to say that you have become a friend to me.” As soon as those words left his mouth he regretted it instantly. “I mean! You have been a good… emm… companion and… and I appreciate a lot that you helped me today… and-“  
  
“Phil! I also feel like you are a friend, there is no need for you to be so shy about it. Dear Lord, why is it so hard for you to express your thoughts?” Dan was not upset, he was actually giggling a little bit. Phil relaxed but started to blush a bit.  
  
“It has never been easy for me to be completely open with people, I always fear what they will think about me.” His hands were shaking a little but he didn’t feel afraid, just a bit nervous.  
  
“Well then look me in the eyes.” Said Dan in a serious tone, Phil slowly lifted his head until he was directly looking at him. Dan smiled kindly. “I, Daniel, swear to you that I will not judge you. I swear that you can from now on tell me anything and that I won’t be mean or mock you. If I ever do any of those things then may my head be cut from my body and my-“  
  
“Dan! There is no need for that, you are completely mad!” Phil said grabbing Dan’s shoulders and shaking him. Dan just laughed so much that he had tears in his eyes and Phil just hit his arms repeatedly and giggled. This was nice, it had been such a long time since he had laughed so much with someone. When they finally calmed down he looked at Dan again. “But do you really mean it? Not the head part! Just… the other part?”  
  
Dan nodded firmly. “Absolutely.”  
  
“Then so do I. I, Philip, swear that I will always listen to anything you want to tell me, to never judge you or mock you for it. I will not promise the head thing though… you are absolutely mad.” He replied and extended his hand. Dan looked close to tears again but this time it was not because of laughing. He shook Phil’s hand and then kept on talking. Eventually the time to part ways came and Phil could barely hide his disappointment.  
  
“I will be at the fair tomorrow and the day after, if you want to come by then I would be more than glad to have you there.” Phil said after Dan informed him that he had to go.  
  
Dan smiled but he looked sad. “I think it will be very complicated for me to go. Today I took the day off because I always do the first day of the fair, but I have to work in the fields and there is no way I can make it early enough.”  
  
As soon as Dan said that Phil stopped hiding his disappointment, for some reason he felt absolutely terrible. “I’m sorry, for a second I forgot that.”  
  
Dan looked at him while biting his lip. “I… I cannot promise anything, but I shall try to visit you at some point.”  
  
“You don’t have to, I would be very glad to see you but if it means you get in trouble or anything like that then please don’t worry.” Phil said quickly, the last thing he wants is Dan getting in trouble because of him.  
  
“But I do want to see you.” Said Dan with such an intensity that both of them blushed and looked away. Things like this had never happened in Phil’s other friendships, he never felt such strong emotions. Besides he had only known Dan for less than a day? Was he really becoming even more mad and pathetic than before?  
  
Nevertheless, he answered. “I want to see you too. But not at the expense of your job or anything like that.”  
  
Dan looked still a bit shocked from what he had said and seemed really embarrassed, he remained in silence for a few moments and then finally looked at Phil again. “I shall go and visit you at some point before the end of the fair, I swear it.”  
  
Before Phil could answer he hurriedly said goodbye and practically ran away. Phil wanted to call out after him but did not. What was that? This all felt so intense that Phil felt really out of place and nervous. Why had Dan run away suddenly? Why does he keep on swearing things like his life depends on it? Why is Phil already so extremely attached to a person he just met?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of historical context:
> 
> \- In 1102 the Council of London took measures to ensure that the English public knew that homosexuality was sinful.

London, England. August 25, 1143  
  
The next day he woke up already thinking about Dan. He felt a bit ashamed, this was becoming rather ridiculous. He had heard stories and songs about strong bonds and friendships, but most of them were either fictional or greatly exaggerated for the public, so Phil started to suspect that he was looking for a thing that was simply not realistic. By the time he was leaving his house again and heading to the fair, the sun had just recently risen and he was still no better on the calming down situation.  
  
When he arrived he started arranging everything, he greeted the others and waited for Edmund. Half an hour later Edmund arrived with a headache (As he always did the second day) and worked mediocrely well (as he always did everyday). When people started to arrive, Phil couldn’t help but look for Dan all the time, he told himself he wouldn’t since Dan had already stated that it would be difficult for him to come but he just couldn’t stop himself.  
  
As the day went by and Dan still didn’t come Phil started to feel a bit sad. He shouldn’t, Dan had warned him last night and even if he swore he would come Phil would feel extremely guilty if he got in trouble. Nevertheless, there was no way for him to conceal his disappointment and by late afternoon it was so obvious that Edmund asked him if he was fine.  
  
“Everything is perfectly in order, why do you ask?” Said Phil in a pitiful attempt of fake cheerfulness. He felt like punching himself for being so disgustingly obvious.  
  
“I don’t know, you just look so gloomy. As if you had tried the wonders of the fey world and felt like you would never be as happy ever again.” Answered Edmund while shrugging.  
  
“Dramatic as always, aren’t you Edmund?” He then turned around and made a point of avoiding looking at Edmund unless completely necessary.  
  
When the sun finally left the sky and the moon greeted them he felt completely hopeless of seeing Dan today. Phil must have been so pitiful today that Edmund actually stayed most of the time working, that was something completely unusual. They started packing and when Edmund bid his farewell Phil just felt like the day had been completely empty.  
  
“Snap out of it! What is wrong with you?” He whispered to himself. He had never felt such embarrassment for his own feelings since he stopped crying every time his father left.  
  
When Phil made sure that everything was in order he turned around in order to go to the cart and head home. In that exact moment, a shadow emerged from behind the cart and threw a piece of fabric on Phil’s face. A tiny yelp escaped his lips, Phil was momentarily confused and scared until he took it off and saw who the dark figure was.  
  
“Dan!” He said both a little angry and absolutely happy. Dan was laughing and clutching his stomach, Phil wanted to punch him.  
  
“I am not sorry. I saw the perfect opportunity to mess with you and I took it as any good friend would.” Said Dan still giggling a bit.

“Good to know that your friendship includes attempts to frighten me to death, I shall reconsider our agreement.” Said Phil folding the piece of fabric and returning it to the cart. “I thought you wouldn’t come today.”  
  
“I told you I would.” Answered Dan with a serious tone. “I always keep my word.”  
  
“I wasn’t doubting your word. It’s just that I would feel bad if you got in trouble just to come and see me.” Phil shrugged and looked down.  
  
“Well I didn’t, I finished my obligations of the day as early as I could and managed to come see you before you left.” He sounded so proud of himself that Phil was a bit flattered. Who in the world would take so much trouble just to see him for a bit? Now that he could properly see Dan, his clothes looked very dirty but for some reason his face and hands were completely clean.  
  
“In that case, I’m glad that you’re here.” Phil smiled at him and Dan smiled back.  
  
“So am I, but since you are already leaving… would you mind if I accompany you home again?” Dan genuinely looked like he believed Phil would say no, which was absolutely ridiculous.  
  
“I would be delighted! Tell me about your day while we walk.” Phil said in a cheerful tone, the first time his tone wasn’t forced today.

Dan told him about how long the day had been. Apparently, he woke up earlier today in order to finish faster and meet Phil before he left. Unfortunately, one of his brothers injured his ankle and Dan had to work a bit more so it ended up being a bit harder for him that the other days. Phil had no idea how to feel about all the effort Dan had to go through in order to come see him and he couldn’t help but notice that Dan looked very tired.  
  
“You… you didn’t have to go through that to see me, you don’t even have to accompany me home, you should go and rest.” Phil even wanted to invite him into his home and let him rest there instead of making him walk back home, but he knows that would be weird and inappropriate.  
  
“Phil, I already told you yesterday that I wanted to see you! Why is it so hard for you to believe that?” Dan stopped walking when he said that and so did Phil.  
  
“I just…no one has ever done anything like that for me before.” His voice shook a little when he answered.  
  
“Well, you better get used to it.”  
  
“But you just met me yesterday, why are you so nice to me when you barely know me?” Phil was completely amazed.  
  
“Why not? Is there any law that forbids that? Is it a sin? There are people I have known for years who don’t give a damn about me. Who dictates that you can’t be close and kind to someone just because you haven’t known each other for years? Hell, we even live in a world where many people meet their spouses the day of their wedding.” Dan raised his voice and he actually sounded pretty upset.  
  
Phil had no words for that, so the silence stretched and stretched. Dan looked just as stunned by what he said as he did the other night. Phil started to consider the fact that perhaps he should stop doubting everything and stop questioning himself all the time. After the silence became unbearable he just nodded and quietly whispered. “You are right.”  
  
After that, Dan purposefully changed the topic and they returned to normal. When they were getting closer to Phil’s home he started to walk slower because he didn’t want to arrive home, he wanted to stay with Dan and talk with him for hours and hours. Dan seemed to slow down too and made no comment about it.  
  
When it was just flat out obvious that they were moving extremely slow and that despite that they would reach Phil’s house soon Dan sighed. “I guess it’s time to go, you must be tired and it’s pretty late.”  
  
Phil will never know if it was because he was tired, or crazy, or a fairy made him do it, but without thinking he grabbed Dan’s arm. “Wait, would you like to come in and perhaps eat and drink something before leaving?”  
  
“Yes.” Answered Dan as soon as Phil asked and then gasped. “I mean… I shouldn’t… I would like to… but I would feel a bit embarrassed with your family. Besides, you must be extremely tired, you’ve been all day at the fair.”  
  
“And you’ve worked all day at the fields and yet you came to see me and walk me home. This is the least I could do.” Phil insisted.  
  
Dan looked down at his dirty clothes, then at Phil’s house and bit his lip nervously. “I don’t think…”  
  
“My family is not even awake, you won’t have to meet anyone if you don’t want to. Even if they were awake, none of them would be rude to you, I promise.” In that moment Phil realised that somehow his hand had gone from grabbing Dan’s arm to holding Dan’s hand and he immediately dropped it. Dan somehow didn’t seem to have noticed or at least didn’t care, he was still biting his lip. However, as if the world had decided to work in Phil’s favour, Dan’s stomach started to growl and Phil couldn’t help but laugh at that.

Dan blushed instantly. “Shut up! Fine, I’ll accept your offer.”  
  
Phil clapped excitedly and after accommodating the cart he opened the door and invited Dan in. Phil’s house was not big, but he knew that compared to many people he was very lucky. They tried to be quiet in order to avoid waking up the others and after telling Dan to sit down, Phil went to fetch some water, bread and apples. When he sat down with Dan he pretended not to notice how eagerly Dan ate and had to control his impulse of giving Dan everything he had in the house. 

Dan must have realised a bit at least because he purposefully slowed down and blushed. When he finished he quietly thanked Phil and remained silent. Phil only ate half of his bread and offered the other half to Dan. At first, he refused but after Phil’s insistence he accepted it and ate it as slow as he could.  
  
“So Dan, if you could be anything in the world what would you be?” Phil asked in order to make Dan feel less awkward.  
  
“What kind of questions is that?” He said smiling a little.

“Just a random one, I like random things.” Answered Phil after drinking some water. “I’ll go first if you want. If I could be anything I would be a bird because I would love to fly, have colourful feathers and random people that feed me.”  
  
Dan laughed at his answer. “That was not the answer I expected at all, I thought you might say the king or a knight like most men do.”  
  
“Being a knight would be a nightmare for me, I am not strong and I hate fighting.” Said Phil shaking his head. “And being a king must be too much responsibility. I wouldn’t mind being rich, but I would be the worst king ever! I would make all the wrong choices and lose my power in no time. How about you then? What would you like?”  
  
Dan took his time thinking and after his final piece of bread he answered. “I would like to be an elf or mythical creature of the sort.”

Phil was also surprised by Dan’s answer. “Well then, I didn’t expect that one either. I guess we are full of surprises. Why an elf?”

“Because they don’t live in our world, they have their own world with their own rules and they also have magic. I know they are believed to be mischievous and that they perform witchcraft… but the idea of them… of their world, it just calls me.” Dan sounded sincere and Phil was very intrigued by his answer.  
  
“Who knows? Maybe you are a changeling and that is why you like it.” Phil said. Dan looked at him and giggled a little. Phil was starting to notice that he enjoyed making Dan laugh, he enjoyed it a lot.  
  
“Could be, in that case I demand to be returned, I hate this life.” Dan said this laughing but Phil couldn’t help but notice what that meant and he felt really bad.  
  
“I wanted to ask if you would go tomorrow again, but you already did so much today and I don’t want you to be exhausted.” Phil admitted nervously.  
  
Dan stopped smiling and Phil hated himself for speaking. “There is nothing I want more than to go, believe me.”  
  
“But..?”  
  
Dan sighed. “But I have so much to do and father didn’t like it much when I said I was going out after work.  
  
That seemed to remind Dan of how late it was because he suddenly stood up. “I think I should go, I have abused your kindness enough already and I know I’ll get in trouble if I don’t work efficiently tomorrow just because I’m tired.”  
  
Phil was amazed at how close he was to saying don’t go, of how much he wanted Dan to stay with him and talk with him until sunrise. But he knew that was selfish, he knew he couldn’t ask that of Dan because he knew that Dan, despite all common sense, would accept. Instead he just nodded and accompanied Dan to the door.  
  
They both looked very unhappy about this situation but neither of them did anything to change it because they knew they couldn’t. “You must tell me, how can I contact you again? Even if you can’t make it to the last day of the festival tomorrow, I don’t want this friendship to end.”

Dan remained quiet for such a long time that Phil started to feel very nervous and he wanted to take his words back, to show less affection, to be more casual, to be less open. But he was not like that, he had always been open with the people he cared about. Phil cared about Dan, he cared maybe a bit too much for someone he had just met, but as Dan said, it was no crime to do that.  
  
“Would it be ridiculous and too much to ask for you to accompany me part of the journey?” Dan asked while sounding incredibly nervous.  
  
If it were another person asking, Phil would decline politely because it’s quite late and he doesn’t know where they are going. But Dan is the one asking and Phil seems to forget all his common sense when it comes to him. Besides, Dan came all the way to see him and accompany him, this is the least he could do.

“Not at all, lead the way.” Said Phil closing the door. Maybe he should think more about this, he should take into account the fact that he’ll have to return home by himself, in the dark, with the chance of someone hiding in the shadows ready to rob him. But he wants to spend more time with Dan and he’ll take any chance he gets.  
  
They remain silent during part of the journey, Phil makes sure to remember where they are going in order return home without trouble. The silence is not uncomfortable, it actually makes Phil feel calm and he likes walking with Dan and looking at the beautiful night sky.  
  
“You don’t have to accompany me all the way,” said Dan after some time. “I live quite far and it would be difficult for you to return home if you don’t know the area.”  
  
“I’ll accompany you as far as I can.” Said Phil without hesitation.

Dan stayed silent again but he looked like he wanted to say something, Phil didn’t pressure him and let him take his time. The night was so quiet and for some reason he felt like they were in another world, it comforted him and terrified him as well.  
  
In the end Dan just nodded and kept on walking. It was a quite chilly and Phil was starting to regret not bringing something to keep warm, he just shivered slightly and hoped that Dan wouldn’t notice.

After remaining in silence for a long time, Dan finally spoke again. “My father found me a bride.”  
  
Phil had no idea how to react to such news. “Oh… How do you feel about that?”  
  
Dan abruptly stopped walking and looked at Phil, his eyes looked pained and miserable. “I couldn’t be unhappier. He kept on saying that I should find a bride soon so that I could have a lot of children in no time. He kept pressuring me and introducing me to any girl he could, I was kind to them but I never liked any of them because I never felt like a bond had grown between us, only a forced one due to parents wanting their sons and daughters to marry. It seems that my father lost his patience because eight days ago he told me that it was time for me to get married and that he had arranged with one of his friends that I would marry one of his youngest daughters in a month. Do you think I know that girl? That I have any sort of bond with her? That I care about her? I don’t! I have never chatted with her more than a few minutes and in those minutes she looked very uncomfortable and bored.”  
  
Perhaps it was because Dan looked so miserable and close to tears, perhaps Phil was too tired or perhaps it was too cold outside but as soon as Dan stopped talking, Phil hugged Dan without saying anything. At first Dan seemed to tense up, but Phil kept hugging him and in a few seconds Dan was hugging Phil too and he was crying a little. This was strange to Phil because there are only 4 other people he has ever hugged in his life: His mother, his sister, his father (but only when he was a little boy) and one of his friends when they were younger and saw each other more often.  
  
They could have stayed like that for seconds, minutes or hours but Phil would never know because he kept on feeling like they were in a different world, in a world where it was just them and everything else was of no consequence. If Phil could stay in this magical world forever he would.  
  
But eventually Dan let go of Phil and they had to keep walking. Neither of them seemed embarrassed by the hug, but neither of them was going to talk about it either. Dan just sighed and kept on walking.  
  
“I just…. Is it pitiful of me to want to marry someone because I love them? All those beautiful stories and songs about passionate love and in the end, I’ll just marry because I was forced to. I will never experience what true love is.” The hug seemed to have helped Dan because his voice sounded a tiny bit less sorrowful.

Phil placed his hand in Dan’s shoulder and squeezed a little. “I wish I knew what to tell you Dan, I really wish I could help you in any way or even be able to end your problem. It is no pitiful at all to want that kind of love because a lot of people do, _I_ do. I have dreamed of that kind of romance all my life and I still hope for it.”

“That is the thing, you can still hope for it. Me? I’m doomed.”

“Don’t say that Dan, perhaps after you get married…” Phil had no idea what he was saying.  
  
“What? Find someone and be unfaithful to my wife? That would be cruel, unfair and wrong.” Dan said shaking Phil’s hand off of his shoulder. Phil felt like shit in that moment.  
  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that at all! I just… I don’t know what to say.” His voice was shaking a little and he felt like crying too.  
  
Dan seemed to calm down a little and gave Phil a sad smile. “There is nothing to say Phil.”  
  
They walked in silence again for a while and then Dan stopped and turned to Phil. “I think it’s time we part ways for the night, thank you for walking with me.”

Phil felt so powerless that he could cry in that very moment. “It was my pleasure, I enjoy your company.”  
  
Dan was about to try to shake hands with Phil to say goodbye and Phil went for a hug instead. It was a short one but Phil needed it and he knew that Dan needed it as well.  
  
“You haven’t told me how I can contact you again.” Said Phil trying to sound as casual as possible and failing miserably.  
  
Dan smirked a little. “Wow, I know that my company is a luxury but I didn’t know you loved it that much.” Phil shoved him and Dan laughed. “I… Please don’t take this the wrong way but I don’t want you to know where I live. Also… can’t read or write so there is no way we can send each other letters. So, I was thinking that maybe we could have a place where we can meet sometimes?”  
  
Phil felt a bit unsure. “I would love to, but how would we know when to meet?”  
  
Dan thought about it for a while. “It couldn’t be on specific days because we don’t know when we’ll have free time. Maybe we could have like a signal or something?”  
  
“But… what? How? Ugh, this is so complicated.” Phil sighed a bit stressed. It was quite frustrating that Dan couldn’t read and write, but he wasn’t surprised by that.  
  
“I… I’ll think about it and tomorrow I’ll see you and tell you.” Dan said slowly.  
  
“Dan, you have done too much already. I don’t want you to get in trouble or to have health problems if you keep doing this.” Phil felt extremely guilty, Dan was doing all the hard work and effort here.  
  
“It’s just one last day, Phil. Besides, tomorrow we are supposed to buy some things at the market so I’ll volunteer to go buy them and at some point, I’ll go and see you.” Dan just shrugged like it was nothing at all but Phil felt like shit. How can a person be so interested in Phil? So willing to do anything to see him?  
  
“I’ll meet you at the market!” Exclaimed Phil.  
  
“Phil! You have to be at the fair and sell your-“  
  
“Edmund can take over for the last day during the time I’m gone, it’s no problem at all.” Phil insisted. “Please Dan, you’ve done so much. At least let me meet you where you are going so you don’t take too long and get in trouble.”

Dan seemed troubled by the request but ended up agreeing. “Alright, I’ll be at the market in the morning a little after sun rise.”  
  
“I’ll see you there!” Phil said with such intensity that he ended up feeling quite awkward. “Sorry, that sounded a bit too eager.”  
  
“Don’t apologize, you are the only person who ever wishes to see me and I… you have no idea how much that means to me, how much you…. How much your friendship means to me. I meant it when I said that it is no crime to have such a strong bond after only a short period of knowing each other.” Dan was a bit fidgety and shaking a little bit he grabbed Phil’s hand. “I must go now, but I’ll see you tomorrow and we’ll decide what to do. Goodnight.”  
  
And with that he took off and Phil was left alone with his overwhelming emotions and thoughts. He was never going to tell Dan, but he was starting to feel like this was too strong of a feeling to be just a friendship and that scared Phil so much he felt completely lost. Yet… it felt wonderful.  
  
But it was wrong… it was very wrong.  
  
Phil was doomed.


	3. Chapter 3

London, England. August 26, 1143  
  


 

“You…. WHAT?!” Edmund was far more surprised than Phil thought. As soon as Edmund arrived (thankfully, he arrived almost on time) Phil told him that he had to take care of everything while he went on an important errand that required his urgent presence. Edmund saw right through that.  
  
“Sorry Edmund, but I must leave now. I trust you enough to take care of things until I return.” Said Phil slowly stepping away from Edmund. However, Edmund was not having it and he grabbed his arm.

“But… when are you returning? What are you doing?” Then suddenly, Edmund smirked. “Oh… did you meet someone? Are you meeting with a pretty girl? Why would you meet with her so early?... unless… it’s a forbidden romance! Oh, how romantic! Philip, I never expected this from you! I need all the details about the-“  
  
“Edmund! I am meeting no girl and there is no romance! I have to go now or it’ll take me longer to come back. I trust you, now please let me go!” Phil wanted to leave this conversation as soon as possible and with a rather hard push he managed to free himself and started running to the market. Before he was too far he looked back at Edmund while running and saw that annoying smirk still on his face.  
  
A romantic secret? Was Edmund mad?! Phil of all people had the least chance of having something as exciting as that, those things only happened in songs and stories. Sure, he had heard about some romantic scandals but those were different, those lacked the beauty of what Edmund had in mind because what Edmund had in mind is simply not realistic.  
  
Phil arrived at the market feeling pretty tired, but since Edmund kept him more time than he had in mind he had to run. The place was already a bit crowded, everyone shouting and offering things. Phil calmly walked around, ignoring offers and looking for Dan. It has been so long since Phil had been to the market, his mother is the one who comes and the last time he came with her was when he was 10. It is much less exciting than a fair, but people seem to socialise a lot here as well.  
  
Phil couldn’t find Dan anywhere at the moment, there were lots of people but none of them were Dan. He started to feel a bit anxious but did his best to remain calm. He was trying to distract himself by pretending to look at some fruits when suddenly a hand grabbed his arm and rather aggressively dragged him into a small space between some boxes. Before he could scream a hand was pressed against his mouth.  
  
“Shit, sorry about that, please don’t scream.” Whispered a familiar voice. Phil shoved the hand away from his mouth and looked at Dan. He looked a bit different today, this time not only were his hands and face clean but his clothes too.  
  
“What is wrong with you? Why did you do that?” Phil didn’t know why they were whispering but if Dan felt like they had to then he was going to whisper too.  
  
“It’s just that… we have a problem.” He then pointed somewhere and leaned closer to Phil. “Do you see that girl looking at the apples?”  
  
Phil couldn’t locate her at first because there were a lot of people but he finally managed to see a young girl with an old veil covering her hair and a brown and faded dress that looked like it had belonged to someone before her. “The one in the brown dress?”  
  
“Yes.” Dan sighed and actually rested his forehead on Phil’s shoulder. “She is my soon to be wife.”  
  
Phil froze in that moment. “What is she doing here?”  
  
“When I told my father I would come to the market he then had the brilliant idea of telling his friend that he should send his daughter too so that we could know each other a bit more.” Dan was still resting his forehead on Phil and Phil had no intention of moving. “So, I am stuck with her until I return. I managed to sneak out for a second when I saw you but I’ll have to return to her.”  
  
“Then… what? Why should it be a problem? We met here today so that we could decide how to meet up again.” Phil didn’t want to just decide that and then leave, but he couldn’t take up all of Dan’s time and even less if he was with his future wife.  
  
Dan lifted his head and looked at Phil, he seemed like he wanted to say something but decided not to in the end. “I just… don’t want to be alone with her. It’s so awkward Phil! I don’t hate the girl, she is actually pretty nice and sweet but knowing that we have to get married makes things difficult and I just… don’t feel like she gets me and I don’t get her either, we just don’t work. We tried to keep a conversation on our way here and it didn’t work at all.”  
  
Phil looked at the girl and then at Dan. This was such an uncomfortable situation and Dan seemed like he wanted to disappear. If only Phil could disappear with him. “Well… then how about you introduce me to her as an old friend you haven’t seen in a while? That way she won’t protest if I stay with you while you are at the market.”  
  
Relief was evident in Dan’s eyes. He took a deep breath and smiled a little. “Perfect!”  
  
Phil followed Dan through the crowd until they finally reached the girl. As soon as she saw Dan she smiled at him but even Phil could tell that it was a forced smile.  
  
“Sorry for leaving you for so long, it just so happens that this lad right here is an old friend of mine who I haven’t seen in so long. Lucia, this is Philip.” Dan made a rather theatrical gesture and Phil bowed while feeling a bit uncomfortable.  
  
Lucia stared a bit at Phil’s clothes but then shook her head and courtesied. “A pleasure to meet you, sir.”  
  
“You don’t mind if he accompanies us while we’re here? It’s been so long since I’ve had the chance to see him.” Said Dan while giving her a little smile. Dan was a very good actor and Phil was a bit impressed.  
  
“Emm… not at all.” She seemed just as awkward as all of them and Phil felt a bit bad for her. He gave her a kind smile and then all of them started walking.  
  
“So… Philip, tell me about your friendship with Daniel. I have never seen or hear of you before.” She said in order to break the uncomfortable silence.  
  
“Well… emmm… we… emm…” Dan may be a good actor but Phil certainly isn’t.  
  
“Well, you obviously have never heard of him because I’ve never told you about him. He is also not from here so you clearly wouldn’t see him often either.” Dan’s voice was a bit harsh and as a result, Lucia blushed and looked down embarrassed. Phil wanted to hit Dan.  
  
“I… um we met each other three years ago at the Bartholomew fair. I was walking around feeling bored and then I saw Dan…iel looking bored as well so I decided to say hi.” Phil said trying to make things less tense.

“Daniel goes to that fair? What for? You cannot afford anything there.” She said looking at Dan with curiosity. Dan looked tense and it hadn’t occurred to Phil that perhaps Dan never told anyone when he went to the fair.  
  
“I… don’t got to the fair. It just so happens that when I met Philip I had to do something close to the fair and got curious so I checked it out and met him there.” Dan wasn’t looking at anyone. Lucia just nodded but said nothing else.  
  
“So… Lucia, tell me about you.” Phil tried to be as friendly as possible and tried to make Dan talk as less as possible, not only because he was being a bit mean to Lucia, but also because he knew that Dan didn’t feel well in this situation.  
  
“About me? Oh, there is nothing interesting to tell. I help my mother with the goats and the house while my father and brother work on the fields. You know, just normal peasant life that you lot don’t care about” She laughed a little but Phil didn’t find it funny at all. Why was she talking like that?  
  
“Oh… and what do you like to do when you are not helping your mother?” Dan seemed to not be paying attention and Phil was trying his best to be nice.  
  
“I don’t do much. I like to play and talk with my sisters and friends whenever we get the chance. I also pray when I have some alone time, though that mostly happens at night.” She looked at Dan when she said the last part, as if she wanted to impress him or something. “What about you, sir? You seem like someone that has a far more interesting life than mine. You know, a peasant girl doesn’t get to do much.”  
  
Phil had no idea what to answer to that. Dan seemed to return to the conversation there. “What is it with you? Why do you talk like that?”  
  
Lucia didn’t look like she meant any harm but Dan was right. Why did she talk like that? Phil didn’t understand at all. Lucia looked at Dan and then shook her head. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”  
  
They kept on walking in silence for a while and then Dan left them alone for a moment while he went to buy some things. As soon as he was out of earshot Lucia looked at Phil. “Sir… I meant no harm when I talked to you, if I insulted you in any way I apologize. It’s just that… I don’t know if Daniel has told you, but we are to be married soon. I don’t know much about him to be honest, but what I do know due to my father being friends with his father, is that he spends way too much time fantasizing about being rich and having a better life than the one he was born with. While it is no evil to dream of having a better life, Daniel needs to accept the fact that he will remain a peasant his whole life. He was born a peasant, he will marry a peasant, he will have peasant children and will die a peasant. This need of his of having friends in upper classes and attending to fancy events is just dangerous because in the end his bubble will burst and it’ll harm him. I don’t mean to be mean, I just don’t want him to hurt in the future.”  
  
She didn’t seem like a bad person, she looked like she honestly cared about Dan in a way. Maybe she also was looking out for herself in the future, but she was also looking out for Dan. Phil didn’t know what to answer to that and he had no chance to either way because Dan returned after a few seconds. They kept on walking and managed to keep a superficial but pleasant conversation while they bought all they needed. Dan tried to be pleasant to Lucia, but Phil noticed that as much as they both tried, they just didn’t match. After buying some final things Lucia turned around and looked at both of them.  
  
“Well, I think I’ll leave you both to do some catch up. I have bought all I needed and I know my mother requires my help with some things so I shall return to her now.” She courtesied and looked like she was in a rush, not because she was in a hurry but because she wanted to leave. Phil couldn’t blame her for that.  
  
“But Lucia, you must return with me. What will your father think of a disrespectful man that leaves a young lady by herself when he was accompanying her?” Dan looked like the last thing he wanted to do was go with Lucia, but he also was a respectable and kind person.  
  
“Oh, worry not Daniel. Father is at the fields by now and no one needs to know I returned by myself. Besides, what kind of wife would I be if I don’t let you have some fun when you can have it?” She smiled kindly and then turned to Phil. “Well, it was a pleasure meeting you, sir.”  
  
“The pleasure was mine.” Phil replied. She kept on looking at Phil like she wanted to talk to him with her thoughts but she also seemed a bit sad. She then turned, gave Dan one last smile and left.  
  
Phil had no idea what to do now. After everything that Lucia said he didn’t know how to feel or what to do. Part of him was annoyed with her and her pessimism, but another part of him understood where she was coming from and knew that she was right in a way. Phil remained silent and Dan was oblivious to Phil’s struggle.  
  
“I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but I didn’t want you to meet her.” Dan sounded serious and a bit sad. “It’s just… I feel like I have two versions of me. The one I am at home and with the people I grew up with, and the when I am when I’m by myself or when I’m with you. To me, the real version is the latter and I don’t want those two versions to mix with each other.”  
  
What Dan just said fitted perfectly with what Lucia told Phil, but it could also be that now Phil was biased due to what she said. Phil decided that he was going to trust Dan and ignore Lucia for now.  
  
“I can understand that.” Phil then looked at Dan. “She seems nice though, at first I imagined some annoying girl but she is rather kind.”  
  
Dan sighed. “She is, which is why she doesn’t deserve to be stuck with someone that she won’t love and that won’t love her.”  
  
“Dan…”  
  
“I know Phil, I know that life is not like the stories the troubadours sing about.” Dan sounded defensive. “But why is it such a sin to yearn for it? Why does everyone mock me for it?”  
  
Phil noticed that Dan looked close to tears so he dragged him somewhere more private and they ended up returning to where Dan had dragged him before. “Hey, I’m not mocking you Dan. You know I would never mock you for anything.”  
  
Dan refused to cry so he kept on looking up and trying his best to avoid any tears falling. Phil couldn’t see him like that any longer so he hugged him. Dan still refused to cry but he leaned on Phil and let himself be hugged. They remained like that for a while, neither of them speaking, just listening to their breaths and the chatter of people.  
  
Eventually Dan calmed down and stopped hugging Phil. “Sorry, I know I’m very dramatic sometimes.”  
  
“It’s alright. You know I’m here if you need me.” Phil really wanted Dan to understand that. “Now… remember the reason we decided to meet here?”  
  
Dan smiled a little. “Yeah, I was supposed to come up with a way we could communicate with each other without you going to my home or me going to yours.”  
  
Phil wouldn’t mind if Dan went to his home, but he knew that Dan would feel very awkward. “So… what have you decided?”  
  
Dan bit his lip. “To be honest… I only have one idea and it’s not the best idea but I couldn’t come up with a better one.”  
  
“I’m all ears.”  
  
“Well, the only way would be for us to meet here at the market every week. I could volunteer to come and buy everything from now on and you could do the same. However, since the time we have on the market is limited then we could also discuss here if we want to see each other later that same day. We could arrange a meeting place and all if we feel like we want to tell each other something that requires more than a few minutes in a crowded place.” Dan didn’t sound proud of his plan.  
  
“To be honest, I can’t think of a better plan either so… why not?” Phil shrugged. “Although I do feel this is a bit too much, it seems as if we were sneaking out or something. Edmund even asked me today if I had a secret love affair with a girl.” Phil laughed a bit at that, Dan didn’t laugh at all.  
  
“I just… I know that if I knew how to read and write then it would be easier. Sorry.” Dan looked really ashamed for that and Phil couldn’t stand that.  
  
“Dan,” Phil placed his hand on Dan’s shoulder and looked directly at him. “you don’t have to be sorry. The fact that I was lucky enough to learn doesn’t make you guilty of not having the chance to.”  
  
Dan still seemed ashamed and thus Phil came up with an idea.  
  
“Hey! What if I taught you? That way all this sneaking around won’t be necessary for long.” Phil was excited but Dan seemed horrified.  
  
“No! Are you mad? Why would you do that? You don’t need to deal with my ignorance and I don’t want to add more responsibilities to your life.” Dan then seemed to think better of his reaction. “I mean… Phil… you can’t be real. That is just… You are just…”  
  
“Dan, if I didn’t want to I wouldn’t offer.”  
  
“I know…” Dan kept looking at Phil for so long and in such a way that Phil felt a bit too exposed and didn’t know what to think. “It’s just that sometimes you say or do things that make me question wheatear you are real or not.”  
  
“I am.” And to prove his point he touched the tip of Dan’s nose and laughed. Dan seemed a bit startled and then playfully shoved Phil while laughing. And just like that, the tension was broken and they were back to normal.  
  
“Fine, I’ll accept your extremely kind offer.” Dan was smiling and shaking his head.  
  
“Good, and I’ll accept your plan of meeting once a week here and deciding where to meet later that day.”  
  
Dan looked at the sky and his smile was gone, that couldn’t mean anything good.  
  
“I have to go now, father will start to wonder why I’m taking so long.” Dan looked at Phil and it seemed like he wanted to do something. Phil had no idea what or why he thought that but it just… it just really seemed like it. In the end Dan just looked away. “I’ll see you next week, I hope you are a better teacher than an actor, your performance today was hideous.”  
  
“I don’t know what you are talking about, I am an artist!” Phil said with a fake posh tone.  
  
“Shut up! Anyway, I must go now. Bye Phil.” Dan lightly bumped his shoulder to Phil’s.  
  
“Bye Dan.” Phil wanted to… something? Hug him again? Shake his hand? Touch his nose again? No… but… something.  
  
Dan left and Phil was just stuck with his weird thoughts, his non-existing desire to return to work for the last day of the fair and (even if he didn’t want to) the things Lucia told him at the market.  
  
Was he doing something wrong? It didn’t feel like it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't know if anyone still cares about this fic. If you do, sorry for taking so long to update, university was a real disaster this last semester but I don't intend on abandoning this fic even if no one reads it.
> 
> However, if you DO read it and happen to like it please let me know!

London, England. September 15, 1143

 

  
Phil had NEVER loved going to the market. It was crowded, noisy and it didn’t smell good. The last time he had gone to the market before meeting Dan had been years ago since he constantly refused to go. As a result, his mother was rather shocked when he volunteered to go to the market all the time now. She found this change very strange but at the same time she didn’t mind since she could use the extra hour or so of sleep, so she had no problem in accepting Phil’s offer while giving him a hug and calling him a considerate and precious boy. However, she was no idiot. She knew her son had been looking happier these last few weeks and she knew that sometimes he sneaked out of the house late at night. She ought to feel scandalised and demand answers, but she wasn’t that kind of person. Phi had never been a bad son, he was almost never in trouble and he had a good heart, so she suspected that whatever was happening (and she thinks she has an idea of what it is) couldn’t be anything bad. So she says nothing, she just gladly send his son to the market and pretends not to notice when he sneaks out at night.

 

…

 

“Alright, now try this one.” Said Phil handing Dan a little piece of paper. “And no, I won’t help you this time.”

 

“You know? I’m starting to think that it keeps being hard to read not because of the task itself, but because of your messy handwriting.” Dan said while looking grumpy.

 

“Hey!” Phil shoved him and Dan laughed. “My calligraphy is decent enough.”

 

“Suuuure, whatever lets you sleep at night” Dan laughed. He then got closer to the candle and focused on the paper. It would be much easier to teach Dan to read and write with daylight, but daylight meant work for both of them, so candlelight had to do for now. “T…the…. Per…son…. Reading….. this…. Is an…. Idi… I’m not finishing that you asshole!”

 

Phil couldn’t stop laughing, his stomach hurt and Dan started hitting him so he laughed harder. “Oh…. Go on… finish reading” He almost couldn’t speak or breathe, Dan looked like he wanted to murder him.

 

“Fuck you.” Said Dan with a smile, he was trying not to laugh as well but Phil knew he was just as amused.

 

“But hey! Jokes aside you’re getting better at reading.” Phil moved closer to Dan. “I’m actually really impressed by your progress.”

 

Dan looked away from the candle so that Phil couldn’t see him blush, but Phil knew him well enough now to know either way. “I… I try to practice whenever I can with every little piece of text I stumble upon.”

 

“I’m glad, you’re doing great.” Phil then took out another piece of paper and some ink and an old quill and handed them to Dan. “Now time to practice writing.”

 

Dan groaned and Phil couldn’t blame him. While it is true that Dan has improved rather impressively in his reading, he knows that he struggles with writing. They have been meeting up at the market every week but since the very next meeting they both knew that just once a week wasn’t going to be enough for them. So they also agree at the market to meet up at night during the week depending on Dan’s workload. Dan insists that he loves meeting up at night to learn and to see Phil, but Phil can also see that he is tired and that this is a big effort for him. There is also the added stress of his wedding, since… he doesn’t want to get married with the girl he is going to marry. Phil hasn’t seen her since that day at the market but he knows that she isn’t a bad person or anything, it’s just that Dan and her don’t match.

 

“There, how is that?” Dan asks handing Phil a piece of paper.

 

Phil is not going to lie. “I… you make fun of my writing but this is just almost impossible to read. He….hello…P… is that a P? Hello Ph..Phil… I am…Da..n. Hello Phil, I am Dan. Well that wasn’t too hard but I could read it this time so I’m proud of you.”  
  
“You can’t just congratulate me and move on, right asshole? You just need to tease me.” Dan says while shoving Phil.

 

“Maybe I could, but where is the fun in that? But I am proud of you, I’m being honest.” He insists while handing down another piece of paper. “Alright, this is the last thing for tonight. Write something to your future wife, perhaps that will make her feel happy.”

 

Dan rolls his eyes. Phil has been trying to make comments like this so that Dan tries to connect with her more in an attempt to make both of their lives easier, but Dan just hates all of it. “Ugh, as if she would like it if she found out I’m learning to read and write.”

 

“Fine, then write me something instead you grumpy elf.”

 

Dan just turns around and starts writing. “Whatever.”

 

Phil can tell that it must be almost midnight and they both need to get going. Specially since Edmund decided to extend his services beyond the fair and is actually working… or well “working” with him. To be honest, Edmund just walks around fliting with pretty girls and charming people. True, it helps with clients but Phil is left with most of the work still. He has complained to his mother but she is just as enchanted with him as everyone else. Phil sometimes wishes he had that power, the power to make fall in love with your personality, with your existences, with your presence, to be able to-

 

“Done.” Dan suddenly announces while standing up. “I should get going.”

 

Phil stands up as well. “Oh, alright. What did you write?”

 

Dan blushes and looks away. “Nothing, I started to write something that I had no intention of writing and it’s just useless.”

 

“Oh come on you shy boy, let me see.” And before Dan has any time to react he snatches the piece of paper out of his hands, a bit of it ripped and remained in Dan’s hands.

 

“No, wait!” Dan jumps on him but it’s too late, he’s already reading it and laughing while doing it.  
  
“I lo..ve y..o..u.” Suddenly, Phil is not laughing anymore. He feels as if someone had pushed into a cold lake and he is shivering. “Oh… you…you wrote this for her?”

 

Dan looks emotionless, he currently looks like he is wearing a mask and Phil hates that because Dan has never done that to him before. “I… no? I mean… yes? I just… ugh, just forget it.”

 

Dan just turns around and starts walking away, Phil almost has to run to catch up and waves the little piece of paper on Dan’s face. “Wait! Don’t you want to give this to her?”

 

Dan stops but refuses to look at Phil. “Just forget it, it was stupid of me to write that.” Phil still tries to give him the paper but Dan shakes his head and starts walking again. “Keep it or throw it away or whatever. Goodnight, Phil.”

 

This time Phil doesn’t chase after him. He just stays there watching Dan walk away until he is eventually out of sight. When he arrives home and collapses on his bed he realises that he never let go of the little paper. Shouldn’t he throw it away? It’s not for him. He shouldn’t want it to be for him.

 

But he does, he really does.


End file.
